REFUGE
It seems I can feel it; a storm coming. Maybe it’s in the way the wind increases its force around the corner of my heart. Or maybe it’s because I can hear a heavy downpour somewhere up in the topmost, furthermost edge of my brain. And I know, with the way the wind is blowing, that it is moving my way; inevitably coming. What if it drowns my hope out completely? What if it blows my trust away? What if it one-hundred-percent destroys any sort of way out and up?
It seems I can feel it; the fear and dread soaking my very being like the oncoming downpour and the hopelessness and discomfort hitting me like the gale-force winds I hear shrieking not far in the distance. And it scares me. Scares me because through the clamor of storms like these, I can’t hear any sound of hope. Scares me because trying to weather wind like this wears out all strength to carry on.
Then right before the storm hits, I hear a small voice. A whisper intoned by rest and calmness. And the whisper urges me to go to a refuge forgotten in the thoughts and anxiety about the storm; a refuge that I may have forgotten but that God has not forsaken. And so, before the rain drowns my faltering steps of trust and the wind blows my hope to the four winds, I seek out that refuge.And I hide there without a trace of fear.
The storm hits with a furious blast and a soaking duluge of rain. Thunder’s voice resounds in ominous booms and cracks, lightning’s pattern zigs and zags across my sky. But my heart is calm, my soul trusts, my mind relaxes. Because I need no other safe place cause my refuge is the Lord.
•••••
I got up early this morning, 3:45 early cause we are headed to Indiana for a wedding this weekend. At that point it was dark and I was the only one up. From the moment I woke up, I felt the storm. I gave in to it for a few minutes then God brought back some words that have been going through my mind from a recent piece of song poetry I wrote. “I claim the Lord as always the refuge of my heart.” And I felt my mind, heart, and soul relax. I don't need to worry about the storms this life brings. I have a safe place, a refuge for my heart.
